I have been struggling today trying to decide what to do. I heard sad news the other day that my uncle had lost his wife. I become totally helpless in these situations. I know there are no words that could help a person who has lost a beloved spouse or other family member. You can't really do anything to make that person feel any better. And death is natural, we all must face it one day. I just become sad for the person who stayed behind with grief.
So, what does one do when she doesn't have words of her own to describe her feelings or to take part in the mourning? Well, I went to post office and bought a card with text appropriate for the occasion. Sigh... I hope my uncle doesn't mind it's not hand-made by myself. I just wasn't up to this challenge. I'm too emotional and empathetic when I encounter great sorrow or death and I'm not good at dealing with it. I feel crushed. I'm not sure if mourning people even pay attention to the cards and flowers people send to them. They probably start reading these messages only after the initial shock is over and they start to realize that the beloved one isn't around any more. Maybe they find comfort in the messages friends and relatives have sent, knowing that there are people who care.
Grief is something very personal, and it feels too intimate to invade that private space of mourning. One could probably use a strong and warm hug but maybe I'm not the right person to give such hug. I hope someone will do it for me though. My uncle is a kind human being and I hope people treat him the same he treats others.
I was quite disappointed with myself today because of not being able to handle this all and trying to make that and the feeling of sadness go away I made an ATC background to share with you. Once again, this is for personal use alone. Let me know if it's good for anything. I have used a photo I took of roses earlier this summer and combined it with some oriental elements. Just click on the image above to open the printable size.
Not many people do know how to deal with the mourning of a loved one. I just lost my grandparents in a span of a month and I don't know how to comfort my other family members. As you said grief is personal, but I do know that people expressing their support is a real comfort. That you sent a card was a meaningful gesture to your uncle. We all extend our love and warmth in different ways and your card was appreciated for its thoughtfulness.
VastaaPoistaI also wanted to thank you for the lovely ATC background (and all your gifts)! You do a stupendous job and are very generous.
Thank you Shay.
VastaaPoistaI have lost my own grandparents long ago, my mother's father and father's mother died when I was 1 year old, and their spouses passed away later when I was 12 and when I was already grown-up. I still remember how I felt when I heard the news - it was horribly sad.
I was abroad with my parents when my grandfather died, and when I heard what had happened, I immediately had migraine and suffered for it for the rest of the day. (I cried, had a horrific headache and vomited...) I really loved him even though he was not a very pleasant human being. I guess children always have that unconditional love for family members. I felt guilty for not being there when he died alone in a hospital while we were on holidays.
The death of my grandmother made me feel guilt for not being able to be there for her, as she was hospitilized and died suffocated there because nurses didn't have time to take care of her. I lived far away from her and it was painful to hear how she had died.
I don't know if it's normal to have such guilty feelings when people die and you just can't help it or if I've just been brought up by people who planted the guilt in me. Any loss would be sad enough even without the guilt.
So sorry to hear about your Aunt friend. I agree, it is really hard to know what to say or how to handle an event that is so incredibly sad. You're right..sometimes less is more & a simple "I'm here for you" can mean everything. Your art is lovely! I hope for youmore peaceful days ahead...
VastaaPoistaSmiles,
Susie
Thank you Susie for your kind words.
VastaaPoista